"normal"

Every night you cry yourself to sleep 

thinking why does this happen to me

why does every moment have to be so hard

I love Maroon 5.  They allow me to wallow in self pity.  I'm having one of those days where I want to scream "why can't he be neuro typical?"

Why can't his life be easier, why can't my life be easier?  I know after I have a good cry and a good laugh it will all be better, and I'll remember that I love my son, regardless of his brain and maybe because of it.

His school day would have been a great day on my scale as an elementary schooler, but every little thing brings him to a stop.  He didn't know what to do in class, but doesn't think to ask for help.  That frustrated him, so he needed a break, but has been struggling over what hand signal to use, so he didn't take a break because he didn't think to just raise his hand and ask.  He got the wrong entree at lunch because he didn't know which was which and didn't think to ask.

He's a 10 year old genius that can't tie his shoes, ride a bike, or ask for help.  Kids have to learn how to be adults, it is a process that can be painful, but for my son with Asperger's every step is painful, the thought of the steps are painful.  It is painful to watch.  My instinct is to scoop him up and run home, but I am worn out.

Tomorrow WILL be better.